Early tonight!

Well earlier than yesterday anyway, it's only 1:15. I have no real idea where the day has gone to - but at least I seem to be having an impact on the things that need doing round the house and for Christmas as well as just the external Church and College stuff. I bought a copy of 'The Heart of Christmas' by Chris Morley which is a book of Daily Reflections for Advent and am sorry to say that although Advent only started on Sunday - by Tuesday I was already behind - I am determined now I have caught up with myself to keep the readings up because each day has something to reflect on. I am so glad I caught up with Mondays it said

Reflect - Am I too concerned about doing well in any of my activities?

Remember - that God gives me permission to stop trying to be perfect.

Resolve - not to lower my standards but to be more relaxed about achieving them

Thank you Chris - these were just the words I needed to hear at the start of another unbearably busy month. Now I'm off to do today's reflect question - Am I too hard on myself? whilst holding on to the remember, which is that I am loved by God in spite of myself.

Been a long time

I knew it had been a long time since I had stopped and taken time out to write my blog - which is a shame because I was just managing to write more regularly, which in turn means I was allowing some time for reflecting on things, not just doing them which is hugely important part of what ministerial training is about.

I have decided during Advent to get back to it - reflecting that is and writing it here too if there's time. The trouble is that the diary is so full up with things to do - it being that time of year, that there is very little time to just sit and reflect.

Today is a Tuesday and therefore easier to find time I have a long journey home from college, and I spend the end bit, after the others have all left, on the train alone, so today I reflected on time and space. Advent is a time of waiting on God, yet checking my diary there is no time to wait for anything, let alone God - not a single gap between now and Christmas Eve. I seriously worry that the essential is being squeezed out by the merely important.

So how can I re-find time to wait on God and just listen - do I tell my Son that his school production is being cut from my to do list - of course not!! - do I miss a college deadline in favour of Christmas shopping - unfortunately not much choice there!!

I can make sure that I don't write anymore stuff in my diary - except emergencies (and them seem to creep up with alarming regularity) and I can make the most of the hours I do have and change the usual frustration of insomnia into some good use for a change - right now it's 2am - I have several train journeys - to college, to the hospital in London and car journeys to placement, mentoring and work, maybe I can put these times to some constructive use too.

It's been a difficult week - and that may be because I am too busy to keep all the balls in the air - my reflection at this late hour is that it is time to stop writing now and sleep a bit. Catch up again tomorrow maybe.

Painting and Pastoral care

I've quite enjoyed the start of term, BS3 suddenly made sense (lets hope that carries on!!) and Synod was quite good fun (it was nice catching up with people, even those I had faced at District Candidates last year!)

Over the last two days, I have painted a room for two young girls who really deserved a treat in their lives and it got me thinking about the possibilities of painting as part of pastoral visiting. There must be lots of people who for different reasons are less able to decorate rooms in their houses - because of illness, finances, time, age etc. And there are many people around with time and skills who maybe able to help - I think it's worth thinking about more for the future.

Transforming things in peoples' lives, might just be a practical way of demonstrating to them Christ's transforming love in a very practical way.

Back to school

Well my twelve week summer break is finally over and this week sees me back to college for the next exciting step of my journey, back to SEITE but this time as a Student Minister and so no candidating lurking in the shadows.

I feel rested and refreshed I have spent lots of very special time with my husband and children, caught up with friends old and new, had plenty of time for the hospital visiting that was needed and generally didn't do much at all - lots of being and not too much doing.

I have looked at my diary for this month and it has that familiar busyness of term time about it already but I have taken a tip from my Aunt and put in some appointments with myself, to just sit and ponder or do whatever I feel will give me a break from the business of life.

On top of college and the new placements that I am really looking forward to, next Saturday sees my first ever District Synod about which I have very mixed feelings mostly because it all feels very real if I have to go to Synod - all a bit too grown up!!

I will write more as term hots up - catch up soon.

"THE shirt"

This was the weekend of our Circuit(sorry United Area) farewells - yesterday saw the departure of my Superintendent minister (the poor man with pastoral charge of me!!) I will miss Him, his wife and their combined wisdom a great deal, although I'm sure it won't be too long before I see them it will be on very different terms than it has been over the last three years as he has helped me in my journey -  from the day in April 2006 when he interviewed me to see if I should be allowed a note to preach, though the ups and downs of Faith and Worship and recently holding my hand throughout the candidating process. Chris has been a source of great support, someone to share good times with, often a shoulder to cry on and I will miss him lots.

Today was time to say goodbye to Sheila as she moves to a time of semi-retirement (I am sure I will still see her as she is on the committee at SEITE, and continues as Assistant District Chair). 

Today's formal goodbye service was also the first public appearance of  "THE shirt" which I am sure will feel less weird as time goes on. I thought I would post a picture for those who missed it!!

Doing Less

One of the things I enjoy most about my blog is that I can go back and read how I was feeling about certain points in my training, which is really useful when writing reflective practice reports and nice for me to see just how much I have moved on. 

This morning I looked at the stuff from the last summer holidays, and read with exhaustion the list of things I had done/was planning to do. I have been officially broken up for 6 weeks now and although I have managed to catch up with some great friends for coffee/lunch, have joined in with the children' s usual end of term stuff (including "The Prom"), caught up with a few overdue haircuts for people and cooked for the Church anniversary I feel very rested and not pressured (unlike term time!)

I have changed a lot during Foundation Training and I have definitely started to really appreciate time for not doing, but just being. This holiday I haven't arranged loads of things to do - although I spent a lovely day out with my Son yesterday (just the two of us, doesn't happen much when you are the youngest of four!). I am only on the Plan once in August (usually I offer more if I am on holiday from college).

The children are off camping next week and are going to spend some time with my Mum later in the holiday, and we are all going away together camping at the end of August. I'm sure there will be stuff planned in, but within those plans there will be quiet as well as busy.

Conference 2009

I listened to the Methodist conference on line last week. I listened as our new President took office, to decisions about the BNP, to debates about Ministers pensions(and felt mine slipping away before I begin!) and about "the way forward" - I laughed, cried and shouted at the computer during the debates.

 I listened to the fantastic service on Sunday morning and joined with the 1700 Methodist's in worshipping God, and heard the moment when our new Presbyters and Deacons were received into "Full Connexion" before being ordained that afternoon. 

However by far the best for me was on Thursday 9th July 2009 when I heard the standing vote on 601b - the moment when Conference accepted for pre-ordination training those of us who have just successfully candidated. I played the recording  to my husband and children (they were quite unimpressed!! - all you can here is the sound of people standing up from their chairs and then sitting down again!!) and gently reminded them that this was one of the most significant moments in my life so far.

It is often in the quiet, seemingly insignificant moments that the greatest changes to our lives are brought about.