Three years.

Today I head off  to London for the wekend that marks the start of my third years Foundation training. It is hard to belive that it will all be over soon, one way or another. It is very hard to have met with a small goup of people once a month for all that time without becoming very attatched to them, and it is the change that will occur in those friendships which will probably be the hardest part of this process. Some will probably continue, some will inevitably fall by the wayside, a vital part of this part of my journey, but not part of the future journey.

This comes to mind as my jorney with these people changes gear.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a God send and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realise is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time
to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

I hope that for some of those I journey with I am a Lifetime.

If God Hasn't Told You.......

And this from "Lessons from a Cuckoo" by Hilary Malpass

How often we wish that we knew,

Just what it is that lies ahead,

We'd like the future all mapped out,

But we walk in the dark instead.

We think that if only we knew,

Then we would be more prepared,

We'd be able to cope much better,

And be less worried or scared.

But an all wise God decided,

That all we needed to know,

Was just the next step along the way,

Of the path He wants us to go!

So all God's children have to learn,

To walk by faith and not by sight,

To trust in the Lord's direction, and

In the dark, to follow the light.

For as Lord, HE is in control,

But fear and pride won't let us rest,

We must learn to leave things in His hands,

For he really does know what's best!

So, quit fearing for the future,

About what to do, where to go,

Remember - if God hasn't told you yet,

Then you obviously don't need to know!

Conversations with Muse

I found this in "Praying like a Woman" by Nicola Slee.

Dare to declare who you are.

It isn't far from the shores of silence to the boundaries of speech.

The road is not long but the way is deep.

And you must not only walk there,

you must be prepared to leap.

Clouds gathering again

Well I have a really quiet week and I've caught up on all those things that I haven't done whilst I was so busy - why is it then that the black clouds that I thought has passed by seem to be gathering on the horizon.

I can't quite put my finger on what's up, nothing really. Maybe I like working in a storm and the calm afterwards doesn't keep me occupied or stimulated enough. 

Whatever is causing it I would like it to go away again.

Supports

I want to celebrate the wonderful fact that God always puts in support systems for each one of us, before we even know that we are going to need supporting. 

Several time in the last few (somewhat stressful) weeks the gentle encouragement of the people that God has sent to support me, has been the lifeline I have needed to get through and not to throw in the towel. 

There are a couple of people in particular without whom the black clouds could have so easily have turned into a terrific storm.

It is important to remember that we are all called to support others and to be supported by them at various different times in our lives, both jobs require a great deal of humility, and both should be treated as a privilege.

Thank you to all my supports.

Paperweight.

Just had a quick check back through the blog and noticed that my first answer to a candidating question was written on September the 23rd. They were finally posted on January the 8th - sixteen weeks and two days later it's no wonder I felt like a great weight had been lifted from me.

Light

This week I really have glimpsed the light at the end of what has at times seemed like a very long tunnel.

It has been such a productive week - the candidating paperwork has now been sent off (what a weight off my shoulders that was I spent the rest of that day walking around not quite knowing what to do with myself!!)

Both assignments are finished and posted, and Sundays service is done.

There were moments this week where I didn't think this would ever be the case especially when the water was comming though the living room ceiling on Tuesday morning. Fortunately the prayer team were quickly put to work and we didn't suffer too much damage. But it did put my schedule out a bit!!

Busy week

I think this comming week(or ten days) will be one of the busiest I've tried to tackle in a long time. Tommorow (Sat) we are off to the pantomime with the children and Sunday I have promised everyone a proper family day at home before the mayhem begins.

Monday is my youngest's 10th Birthday and the day that everyone goes back to work college or school, so it will start a bit on the hectic side. Whilst they are all out I will try and finish the two pieces of work for college, unlikely to get them both done maybe I'll try for one completed (deadline for posting Friday!) and make a cake for Joe(deadline teatime!).

Tuesday I can then get the other college essay completed checked and printed and start to gather things together for Sunday's service(deadline Sunday morning! Except choosing hymns/readings deadline Wednesday).

Also on Tuesday I must spend some time printing and photocopying the right number of papers for the candidates meeting with Chris on Wednesday(deadline Wednesday).

Wednesday I have a meeting with my Superintendent Minister to cross the t's and dot the i's of the candidating paperwork, it shouldn't take very long but I have to travel to Haywards Heath and back. (Paperwork deadline for posting Saturday!)

Thursday has a space in the morning to attend the midweek communion at church so that the important doesn't get oushed aside by the urgent. In the evening I'm up to Westminster for my final evening at the Sanctuary before I start back at college next week. It really has been a great placement - I will miss you guys.

Friday is the sorting out day for anything still outstanding, including all that hasn't been done round the house during the week.

Saturday a trip to Felpham Methodist Church to see John  accredited as a Local Preacher, a candidating requirement(five days before his deadline!)

Sunday I am leading an alternative service at Hailsham Methodist Church.

Monday I will sit and rest(Ha Ha).

So on top of the usual wife and mother stuff, some quiet time with God and maybe a cup of coffee with Janet to stop the clouds rolling in (please see previous post for explanation) That's all I have to fit in - Doesn't sound too bad when you say it quickly does it?

Black Clouds

I have to admit that I have spent quite a lot of time in the last month or two sitting under a big, black cloud.

There are many reasons I could give for my gloom - too much to do (candidating, college work, Christmas etc)- being away when my housegroup meets( it's the place I put down my weekly woes!!) - not fitting in time for coffee with friends (baby glooms, if not chatted through, can quickly turn to big black clouds) - Candidating( I know I already mentioned it but it deserves a category of it's own!) not just the ammount of extra work it's bought but the emotional pressure it brings. What happens if they say no?? Worse still what happens if they say yes??? It will be a great relief when May the 7th comes and at least I know one way or the other.

Having said all of that, there is I think a little piece of each of us that sits under black clouds because they are a nice place to wallow for a while. It is very easy to get into the habit of only noticing the bad things that are going on in life, the difficult and stressful bits. So.......... I'm going to make an effort to at least come out for a walk in the sunshine everyday, even if I go back under the cloud afterwards. So at least one positive thought, something to praise God for, every day. That shouldn't be too hard should it? And who knows maybe there will be a break in the clouds and some sunshine back.

2009

Happy New Year!

2009 is upon us, I hope it brings peace and hapiness to everyone.

It is of course for me the year of candidating. Many of you have asked for a timetable of what's going on so you can keep me in your prayers. Here it is as I know it so far. I will add in more specific dates when I know them

• 15th January paperwork due in
  
• sometime before 20th March psychological assessment
• 13th March District Panel (first big interview)
• Two days during the week of 27th April - 1st May Connexional Committee (This is it)
• 7th May Results day

A very special friend, who knows exactly what candidating feels like, said " It may feel like you are climbing a mountain, but just keep imagining the view from the top"