Wednesday, 2 December 2009

Been a long time

I knew it had been a long time since I had stopped and taken time out to write my blog - which is a shame because I was just managing to write more regularly, which in turn means I was allowing some time for reflecting on things, not just doing them which is hugely important part of what ministerial training is about.
I have decided during Advent to get back to it - reflecting that is and writing it here too if there's time. The trouble is that the diary is so full up with things to do - it being that time of year, that there is very little time to just sit and reflect.
Today is a Tuesday and therefore easier to find time I have a long journey home from college, and I spend the end bit, after the others have all left, on the train alone, so today I reflected on time and space. Advent is a time of waiting on God, yet checking my diary there is no time to wait for anything, let alone God - not a single gap between now and Christmas Eve. I seriously worry that the essential is being squeezed out by the merely important.
So how can I re-find time to wait on God and just listen - do I tell my Son that his school production is being cut from my to do list - of course not!! - do I miss a college deadline in favour of Christmas shopping - unfortunately not much choice there!!
I can make sure that I don't write anymore stuff in my diary - except emergencies (and them seem to creep up with alarming regularity) and I can make the most of the hours I do have and change the usual frustration of insomnia into some good use for a change - right now it's 2am - I have several train journeys - to college, to the hospital in London and car journeys to placement, mentoring and work, maybe I can put these times to some constructive use too.
It's been a difficult week - and that may be because I am too busy to keep all the balls in the air - my reflection at this late hour is that it is time to stop writing now and sleep a bit. Catch up again tomorrow maybe.

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